it's not that simple
by BerryliciousCheerio
Summary: Because sometimes mommys and daddys tell us things that aren't quite true, becuase it's simple.
1. Chapter One

**Alright, not the future Bade fic I promised, but here it is anyway. Anyway, have fun reading it!**

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Seven

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Things don't quite add up and she was confused and she asked her mommy one day why she was so pale when mommy and daddy were so…_not_. Mommy stood stock still for a second and then slapped her hard across the face.

Well, she started crying and daddy came in and started yelling at mommy and then aunty came in and ushered her out of the room. Aunty played dolls with her and even let her choose a movie to watch so she thought that mommy and daddy arguing wasn't all bad because she got her way and they finally did stop screaming and then she got ice cream and mommy gave her a big hug. Daddy even let her braid his hair which was a rare occurrence for her.

But after daddy left the room after tucking her in, mommy remained and just stared. And she almost asked if she was okay, but then mommy let out a big sigh and she couldn't quite figure out why, but the sigh sounded sad.

She's never heard something that sad.

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**Fourteen**

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Life's a bitch. She learns this when she stumbles upon a shoebox filled with photos of a woman who looks _just like her_. She had almost forgotten her mom slapping her and all the weird looks and her dad starting to cry when he thought she was out of the room.

But she finds forty-two different photos of a girl draped in black and heavy makeup and facial piercings. They all dated from after 2008, but before 2013. There were close ups and photos of her back and photos of her hands and photos that were blurry but discernible. And she's so shocked that really, it doesn't quite sink in until she reaches the final picture. That picture is a picture of the girl with a black shirt stretched tight across her swollen stomach, her hands encircling it protectively.

Suddenly, she's aware of her cheeks feeling wet and her eyes stinging and her tongue tasting the salty tang of tears. She hears a door slam downstairs and she becomes all too aware that she shouldn't be in her parents, wait, her father and step-mother's (or whatever the proper term is) closet, shuffling through their stuff. She shoves the photos back into the shoe box and throws into the back. She makes it to the top of the stairs just in time to see her parents (damn, that's going to take some getting used too) shaking off their umbrellas.

Her mother glances up and says, "Oh, hi! I didn't know you'd be home this early from the library." She doesn't say anything, just whirls around and walks into her room. She can hear them whispering in the background, saying things like, _There's no way, _and, _It's not possible. _When safely curled in her bed, she pulls the picture of the girl whom she assumes is her mother out of her pocket and just holds it to her heart.

She falls asleep that way. She doesn't think she's ever slept so well.

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**Eight**

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No matter what they say, she knows her family is different. Her mommy doesn't pack her lunch with little notes telling her to do her best and have a great day. Her daddy can barely look at her without having to go outside to smoke to calm his shaking hands and frazzled nerves. Her grandparents (both sides, because in this family, it's all or nothing) don't lavish her with presents and attention like they do on her cousins. Her parents rarely are home for dinner.

It's usually the babysitter or occasionally she joins the family next door. She can't help but feel jealous of the neighbor kids because they've got a mommy that bakes them cupcakes and sends little notes in their lunch boxes and they have a daddy that can stand being around them for more than fifteen minutes.

Yes, they don't get to go out to the movies every Saturday and they don't have giant doll houses and top of the line scooters, but they have fun with their parents and they have someone to talk to at all times.

She wonders if she'll ever have that.

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**Fourteen (and a half)**

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She confronts them on a rainy Sunday afternoon. She grabbed the shoebox and walked quietly downstairs to find them watching TV, on different sides of the couch. Her father turns and smiles at her, but she sees how sad and pained he looks when he smiles at her. He doesn't seem to notice the box. She walks in front of the TV, flips it off and drops the box on the coffee table. They both freeze.

All she says is, "Tell the truth." And they do. After a few minutes of silence, they tell her everything.

Her _real_ parents were actually her father and the girl in the photos. They were young and in high school. She thinks her dad almost says _in love_ but he stops short when he sees his wife staring hard at him. Her mother decided to give her up for adoption at the last second but her dad used his paternal rights to get custody. Somewhere, he ended marrying the woman that is now sitting next to him, staring at the floor.

She's feels so betrayed that she doesn't say another word to them, she just turns and rushes back to her room to pack a bag. Where she's going, she doesn't know.

Maybe she shares more than looks with her mother.

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**Ten**

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Sometimes she prays before bed. She saw her friend's family doing it during one sleepover and she fell in love with the idea. Her parents see her doing it one night and all they do is smile and shake their heads and say, _You'll see_. She stops doing it all together, at least when they're around.

But when she does, she prays that one day she'll wake up and have a mommy that does her hair and plays dress up and paints her nails and have a daddy that'll give her piggy back rides and take her to the fair and who'll cave to anything she asks because she's his princess and not because she makes him sad.

She prays that she'll wake up and find that her grandmas want to teach her how to bake and her grandpas want to teach her things that her parents would probably disapprove of. Usually she just prays for a good day.

Sometimes she prays to never wake up.

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**Fifteen**

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It took her six months to find the girl. Her mother was living in a schmancy apartment in L.A., working on her latest project, a small indie film that was using one big name (her mother) and one small name (some other person). She'd have never guessed that her mother was Jadelyn West, actress extraordinaire.

She literally bumps into her, pacing in front of the apartment building, gathering the courage to go up and talk to her. She thinks that maybe her mother is even more amazing in the flesh.

The woman, her mother, was holding a Starbucks coffee cup and has a cell phone in her other free hand. The coffee sloshes, and the woman says, "Oh shit. I'm so sorry. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit." She just stands there, awestruck, until Jadelyn asks, "What, you want an autograph or something?"

All she can come up with is, "I'm your daughter."

She's never heard a silence louder than this.

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**Thirteen**

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She gets asked out on her first date and they don't even care. If anything, they hate it. Her father's hands start shaking and he leaves to smoke. He slams the door behind him. Her mother is silent for a moment, but then says, "Don't stay out too late." She stalks out after her father. She goes out with the boy, gets her first kiss, and returns home in a blissful state. Her parents had already gone to bed.

She just wants to tell someone.

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**Fifteen**

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Her mother invites her in and as soon they're behind closed doors, she pulls her into a tight hug. She can feel tears soaking her shirt and she realizes that she's crying as well. When her mother releases her, she keeps a hold on her and just studies her face.

"You look like me."

"I know."

Then they both are crying with a renewed force. When they finally stop, the sit down across from each other and her mom asks her things. Random things, like what her favorite color is and where she went to school. When it comes to the topic of why she's there, her mother's brow begins to furrow. She sighs. "You know I have to send you back." And then she begins to beg and plead. She never thought she'd be in this position. Begging her mother to let her stay.

Finally her mother relents and says, "Alright. You can stay. But, you have to call your, um, parents."

Her father says she can stay. Her…step mother bursts into tears and says that Jade won. Jade finally won. She hears the phone slam down and then her dad comes back on. He says that he'll come visit for her birthday and really, she doesn't care much anymore. Her dad was never really around, so it doesn't make much of a difference.

She hangs up and as soon as she does, her mother pulls her back into her arms, whispering random words of comfort. Things that mothers say.

Finally, she thinks that her prayers are answered.

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**Alright, I loved it until the last little bit. But that might just be me being overly critical. Anyway, (not sound like a review whore or something) I love, love, LURV hearing what you guys think about my work. So please review! **


	2. Chapter Two

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Okay, so I'm doing a continuation of the Beck-Jade-Love child Saga! Man, that title is suckish! Anyway, you'll finally get to find out what said love child's name is. YAY! If you haven't already noticed, I'm slightly high on caffeine. Anyway, here it is!

**Disclaimer: I don't own VicTORious. Boo.**

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**One**

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**The girl turns one year on January thirteenth. The snow actually fell (in California, oh God, what is this world coming to?) and the child is mesmerized by the little flakes that are falling outside the window. Her mommy walks over and points to a flake, "Snowflake. Can you say 'snowflake', Hadley?"

The little girl, Hadley, looks up at her mommy with her big gray-blue eyes and squeaks out, "Mama."

Her mommy freezes and corrects her, "No. Not mama. Snowflake. Say it, Hadley. Snow. Flake."

Hadley gurgles a little and then babbles out, "Swowfwake!" Her mommy relaxes and smiles. She scoops her up and brings her into the next room, which is filled with family and friends. Mommy places her back on the ground while she goes to talk with aunty. Hadley crawls to where her daddy's feet are and reaches her hands up to him. He pulls her onto his lap and smooths her hair down and pulls her close. Rocks her back and forth. Back and forth.

Whispers, "Oh, Hadley. You look so much like your mommy."

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**Two**

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**Her second birthday is bigger than her first. Her parents have more friends that have kids, so she has playmates to toddle around with while mommy and daddy ignore her and talk with their work friends. The cake is served and she slams her face into it, because she's never seen cake before. Her mommy didn't think cake would be good, but for this day, her daddy took control and ordered a pink princess cake. Everyone laughs and says, "Oh, she's just adorable." They don't say what they actually think.

_Is she yours? Are you sure? She's so pale._

When everyone goes home, she's left to play with a mini piano until her daddy storms out to smoke one of those silly stick things that he always has around. Her mommy stomps in and pries her fingers off of the piano, saying, "Be quiet Hadley. It's too loud."

She picks her up and takes her to her room, the pretty pink one with the dolls and stuffed animals, and usually she loves it, but right now, all she wants to do is play with her piano and have her mommy and her daddy smile and clap for her. Her mommy closes the door behind her, because she knows that she can't reach the door handle.

She cries, and cries, and cries, but no one comes in. When she finally exhausts herself, she climbs herself into her bed and hugs a stuffed cat that she'd always, always had. Her door creaks open and she sees her daddy walk in, quietly. He tucks her blankets around her and flips her Nemo nightlight on. He looks like he's about to cry, but he bends and plants a kiss on her forehead.

Her mommy doesn't even come to check on her.

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**Three**

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This time, her parents are out of town. Her mommy is in Colorado for a business retreat, her daddy in Miami to film a short film. They assure her that they love her and that they'll try to be back before the day, but they aren't.

She's staying with her grandma and grandpa (her mommy's parents) and they're too worried about getting her to preschool and dance and cheerleading and ballet and soccer on time, that her birthday seems to just slip through the cracks. Her teacher remembers, and brings in sugar cookies with pink icing and has the entire class sing her 'Happy Birthday'. She pretends that her mommy and daddy are taking her to Chuck E. Cheese's, but her teacher knows, and she can tell that she feels sorry for her.

When she gets home, her grandma and grandpa still don't remember, not until late that night, when she's supposed to be asleep, but she's actually watching Finding Nemo. Again. They freak out because her mommy calls to wish her a happy birthday and her grandma rushes out to the store to buy cupcakes and her grandpa hands her a fifty dollar bill and says, "Happy birthday, kiddo."

She stays up half the night and is too tired and sick off of the amount of icing she ate to go to school the next morning. Her grandparents let her stay home, because they're trying to make up for forgetting her birthday. Her daddy calls in the middle of the day to wish her a belated birthday. He's a little shocked to hear that she's home, but he fakes laughs and is sickeningly cheery that she feels like she has to throw up again.

He hangs up before she can say, _I love you daddy_.

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**Four**

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Her parents take her and her two bestest friends to the water park. It's one of the best birthdays she's ever had (and ever will have, but shhhh…she doesn't know that yet). Her parents strap floaties onto all of them and takes them to every ride they ever wanted to go on.

They buy them ice creams, and hot dogs, and fries, and everything they want. They sing Happy Birthday loudly and way too perfect, so perfect that people immediately start staring, just a little bit. She wishes that they wouldn't because this is her day, not her parents'. The day ends way too quickly, because her friend Hanna falls down and twists her ankle.

Her parents rush to take care of her and when she falls and scrapes her knee, they wave their hands and say, "Hadley, not now." She brushes away the gravel from her knee and bites her lip as it stings. Her mommy had stuffed band aids into their bag, so she drags one out and fixes herself.

She decides that Hanna won't be coming over anymore.

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**Five**

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She's sick with the flu on her birthday. Her mommy brings her soup and a piece of toast with a candle stuck in it. Her daddy had work.

Her mommy holds her hair as she pukes her birthday 'cake' into her trash can and hums a slightly sad version of Happy Birthday in her ear. She falls asleep.

She wakes up at a quarter past midnight. She hears the front door click shut and heavy footsteps up the stairs. She's tempted to run to her mommy's room, but a sudden wave of nausea hits her and she turns quickly to her trash can. Her daddy rushes in and in the midst of her vomiting, she manages to say, "Hi daddy."

He gathers her hair back and murmurs, "Hi princess. You feeling any better?" She lets her next wave of vomit answer his question. When she finally stops puking, he brings her a cool washcloth and drapes it across her clammy forehead.

He whispers, "I'll be right back." He tiptoes out and returns a few moments later with a carefully wrapped package in his hands. He hands it to her and she rips the paper wide open. It's a ballerina Barbie, the one that she had pointed out in the toy store, months before her birthday.

She smiles as enthusiastically as she can, and scream/whispers, "Thank you daddy! That's exactly what I wanted."

He says, "There's a Barbie dollhouse that goes along with it. I was thinking that if you're feeling better, we can set it up this weekend." She smiles widely and lets him sing her to sleep.

She's out in a matter of minutes.

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**Six**

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**She broke her arm and spent the birthday in a hospital room. No one thought to sing Happy Birthday or bring a cake or presents. S

he watches a marathon of an old show called Hannah Montana alone.

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**Seven**

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**She wakes up to her parents screaming at each other. She blocks it out until she hears the front door slam shut. She creeps down the stairs and sees her daddy sitting alone at the kitchen table, his face in his hands. He notices her and says, "Hi Hadley. Your mommy just needs to cool off for a bit."

She asks hesitantly, "Are we still going to Baci's tonight?"

He sighs and rubs his eyes, "I don't know Hadley. I don't know." They don't go to Baci's at all.

Her mommy doesn't come back until the next day.

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**Eight**

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**Her daddy is out of town. Her mommy takes her to a toy shop and lets her pick out a bike. She chooses a pretty purple one with butterflies on it.

It sits in the garage for two weeks, before her daddy comes home and teaches her how to ride. He let's go just a little too soon and she crashes into the neighbor's garbage cans.

The bike loses a wheel and is put back into the garage, to rust.

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**Nine**

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**Her mommy surprises her by bringing in chocolate cupcakes at lunch. It has pretty purple icing and tastes like heaven.

The kids sing Happy Birthday to her, and she doesn't notice until class restarts that her mommy snuck out to make a business meeting.

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**Ten**

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She switched schools, just before winter vacation began, and she doesn't tell her classmates that her birthday is today. No one sings Happy Birthday. When she gets home, she can hear her mommy and daddy screaming inside the house. She walks down the street to aunty's house.

Aunty's not home, so she just sits on her stoop, waiting for the screaming to stop. It finally does, when the door slams open, causing her to jump. Her daddy storms out, coat in hand, and doesn't even notice her. She can hear her mommy sniffling upstairs, so she starts (and finishes) her homework without any help at all. It's way past her bedtime when mommy stumbles down the stairs. "Hadley, it's way past your bedtime."

She starts to defend herself, but stops because mommy's eyes are red and when mommy's eyes are red, she breaks much easier.

She mutters a quick, "Sorry mommy," and scurries up the stairs. She falls asleep and dreams that her stuffed animals sing her Happy Birthday and they bake her a cake with ten pretty purple candles in it. She wakes screaming because the candles melt and her room catches on fire and when she looks in the melting mirror, she sees a girl that doesn't look like herself.

No one comes to soothe her.

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**Eleven**

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**She doesn't know when it happens, but she stops calling her parents mommy and daddy. Now they're mom and dad, only mommy and daddy when she wants something. She doesn't notice it until she asks, "Mommy, what-?"

Her mom cuts her off and says, "Whatever it is, we're not buying it for you."

"I just wanted to know what time it is…"

Her mom almost looks apologetic, but says, "There's a clock on the wall." She glances at the clock and notices that it's about twenty minutes past her bedtime.

She asks her mom, "Isn't there something you want to say to me?"

She hopes that her mom will say, _Of course, sweetie, your daddy and I were trying to surprise you_, and then her dad will pop out and they'll sing Happy Birthday to her and hand her two awesome gifts, but instead, the answer is, "Yes, it's past your bedtime." She trudges up to her room in silence and sings herself to sleep.

"Happy birthday to me…happy birthday to me…"

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**Twelve**

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**This year, they remember. They take her out to this fancy tea place where her dad lets her put a Victorian-era hat on his newly braided hair and her mom lets her order everything off the menu. She actually would have enjoyed herself, had she not seen the way her mother clutched her father's hand. Something was wrong, but she pushes the thought away. It was her birthday, they're both in town, they both remembered. She sips her tea and pretends she's normal.

Just one last time.

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**Thirteen**

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She becomes a teenager and her mom takes her to her doctor for a prescription for birth control. Dr. Abrahams seems a little disconcerted at how young she is, but prescribes it anyway. When they get home, her mom hums Happy Birthday cheerily and she asks, "Do you not trust me?"

Her mom answers, "It's not a question of trust. It's a question of precaution."

"But if you had taken precaution, I wouldn't be here."

"Hadley, don't ruin the day."

She thinks that she's not the one ruining the day.

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**Fourteen**

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She turns fourteen the day before the stumbles upon the shoebox, so in her mind, the birthday will always be marked by that day, the fourteenth of January. Her parents were out of town, filming some new movie and she was staying with her aunty again. She sometimes thinks that aunty is more of a mom than her actual mom is. That is, until she finds out the truth that's like the straw that broke the camel's back.

Her mom calls her to remind her to finish her homework as well as her science project, because, "You really need the A."

Her dad calls her and she begs him, "Daddy, please come home. Please daddy." He tells her he'll have him and her mom on the next plane home. And he actually does.

They're home by one a.m. and they sneak into the guest room at aunty's and sing Happy Birthday into her ear. She smiles sleepily and rolls over.

She wishes she had reveled in the moment, had enjoyed it and milked it for all that it was worth, because the next day, she found out it was all a sham.

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**Fifteen**

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She's on a bus when she turns fifteen. She doesn't even realize it until she arrives in L.A.

She expects her phone to ring with her dad or step mom on the line, begging her to come home and, _oh, Happy Birthday Hadley_. They don't. She buys herself a shitty cupcake in a shitty part of town and sticks a toothpick in it. She sings herself Happy Birthday and pretends that her real mom is standing next to her and singing along with her.

She pretends that there's a flame to blow out and she wishes that next year will be different.

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**Sixteen**

She wakes up to the smell of cake and to someone singing Happy Birthday softly in her ear. She opens her eyes and sees the most wonderful sight. Her mom, standing in front of her, holding a piece of chocolate cake and bearing a grin from ear to ear. "Happy Birthday Hadley!" She smiles because, this year, someone is actually _celebrating_ her birth. Someone actually appreciates the fact that she's alive and that she's another year older.

She gets out of bed and is pulled into a one armed hug, while her mom keeps the piece of cake level and stable.

She asks, "Did you make this?"

Her mom replies, "I would have, but I didn't want to give you food poisoning. I figured you'd appreciate not having to go to the emergency room. Wanna pig out on cake for breakfast?" And they do, and it's an amazing feeling, actually enjoying her birthday for once. It's all going well until the phone rings. Her mother answers it and mouths to her, _your dad is downstairs_. The bite of cake hovers in the air just next to her lips.

She nods slowly and her mom says, "Buzz him in. Thanks Lionel."

She turns to her and says, "Hadley, I need you to know this. Technically he has custody of you and if he wants to take you back to Denver with him, I have to let him." She feels her eyes begin to well up just al little, because dammit, this has been the best year she's ever had. She can't even bear to think about going back to Denver and she swipes her hand across her cheek to catch the tears before they fall. Her mom crosses back to her and pulls her into a hug and says, "Hey, hey. I'll fight tooth and nail for you, do you understand that? If he wants a war, he'll have himself a war." She nods into her mom's shirt.

There's a knock at the door a few moments later. And her dad is there, just like he'd promised her and he's holding a very perfectly wrapped package. Her mother holds the door open and lets him enter.

She looks to her and asks, "Are you okay?"

She nods and turns to her father, "Where's Victoria?"

He says, "She's back home. Happy Birthday Hadley." He hands her the package and she opens it carefully. Inside is a collector's edition of Finding Nemo.

Her eyes well (for the second time in one day. God, what is she, a baby?) and she says, "Thanks."

Her mom notices and says, "Why don't you go get dressed. Your father and I need to work some things out." She leaves the room and collapses into her bed. She can hear their muted voices through the closed door, but for once, she's not worried.

She knows that her mom _will _make sure she's happy and _will_ fight 'tooth and nail'. She gets up and places the DVD in her drawer, buried underneath t-shirts and jeans and socks.

She thinks that finally, _finally_ she'll be okay without it.

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**So, was it as good as the first? I might consider continuing, but I need some feedback. So...that basically translates to: REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! NOW! ...Not to sound too bitchy or anything... :P**


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